My Why

 May 29, 2018 I was "celebrating" my birthday. I had just returned home from Afghanistan a few days prior. Long story but while I was away a 10 year relationship was officially coming to an end. I felt like I had let down everyone in my life, my lowest of lows is safe to say. I remember walking into my garage  thinking, I could turn my car on, shut the garage door and end this all but thankfully I walked away from that situation. I heard God telling me to slow down and spend time alone. I listened to that calling and to be honest, it was the loneliest time in my life. I had been living life in the fast lane traveling the world on my own and with the military. Amazing experiences but what I didnt realize at the time were just my version of running away from the life I didn't want to face. 


Shortly after my birthday I knew I needed a fresh start. I packed up some household items and my clothes and I left. I got an apartment and someone graciously gave me a bed. I truly started over and despite the loneliness it was the most healing time I have ever experienced. I began to feel the presence of God in a way I never had before. 

A few months later I very unexpectedly met Jason. Through prayer and faith I moved to Cleveland and after finding out Jason was deploying we took an even bigger leap of faith and got married and pregnant. Living in Cleveland the first 2 years basically alone with our son was not the easiest transition for me but I wouldn't change anything and I knew in my heart it was God's plan. Having this life with him and our children are the greatest blessings I could have ever been given. 

So, all of this being said I am getting ready to wrap up what I feel is a huge chapter in my life. Going from not wanting to live to having this amazing life and family to live for. I wanted to celebrate in such a big wholesome way, and in the way that means so much to me, running. 






So, for those of you wondering why this race and this injury means so much to me, this is why. It's not just running, it's not just finishing 50k.

Over the years I have learned people an experiences do bring so much joy and happiness that is not where the joy truly comes from. Joy is from God no matter what we are going through. We can choose joy in the most difficult times. 

I know I'm going to be ok. I know there are other things I am grateful to be able to do. I know I'll be back to running and I will be running fast again. For you prayer warriors out there, I hear you and I appreciate you. For those of you struggling I know you will get through because God always has our back. 



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